The Faces of the Golden Strip is pleased to introduce Carri Uram. Learn more about her story and why she started her non profit Special Link Adoption Agency
Q: What inspired you or led you to your current career?
A: An unfortunate set of events happened that I wasn’t expecting. We had just had our third child in the fall of 1992, and I had two older children who were four and seven at the time and they were tickled to death over their new brother, however, he passed to SIDS. It was about midday or late morning, I had put John in the swing at about 11:00 AM and was pulling together bottles and about 20 or 25 minutes later, I noticed that his color looked bad and, his lips looked sort of bluish-purple. I picked him up, and instead of the typical startle reflex that you get from babies, he just flopped. In his jaw like I heard a click as it kind of popped open. I’m running around screaming, hollering, trying to dial the phone, and it seemed like three or four times before I was able to get through to the emergency line, 9 1 1. The ambulance arrived and they came in to see if they could help. My two older children were right there because they were putting together a puzzle at the coffee table, just four feet away from where he was sleeping so they had to see this whole horrific scene.
After a long and intense grief period, we felt called that we were supposed to adopt a child. I really balked at this at first because I’d always wanted to adopt a child but after having buried one, I didn’t think I could. I tried to barter with God and say, I’ll have one more and then I’ll adopt and God completely shut that door. To have the option of having another child taken away after a year of trying I really reached rock bottom and said, “God, what are you trying to do to me? You’ve taken my child and now you’ve taken my ability to have a child.” All of a sudden fast and furiously signs, literal signs, and wonders everywhere started showing us adoption. I’d turn on the radio and there would be a story about adoption, I’d open a magazine, there would be a story about adoption, we went out to eat and somebody came and sat at our table and started talking about adoption. I thought, okay, I get it!
Within three months of starting the process, not even that within a month and a half of starting the process, we were paired with a precious little birth mother. She was still 18 and she picked us from viewing our portfolios amongst all of the families that were looking to adopt. Now private adoptions is a lot more humane and compassionate and much more empathetic to all parties. Girls get to pick the family that they want to adopt their baby. Our birth mother had baby Alex in March and he is biracial. When people learned I adopted a biracial child I got several calls about adopting others. Soon I became an advocate because I started getting so many calls by the time Alex was six months old. I had three other calls asking if I could take on another baby. I thought to myself that this was so ironic because I had just participated in the silent prayer for life, where there were like 6,000 people in Greenville, standing on the sides of the street, praying for life and I said, and yet I’m struggling to find homes for healthy newborn black and biracial babies. That really bothered me because I couldn’t take them all in.
I started becoming just an advocate for private adoption. I started writing letters to the editor and articles for magazines. Before I knew it, people were coming to me saying, “we want to do that. How do we do that?” I would link them up with an attorney and this attorney just called me last week saying he’s got a birth mother coming due so before I knew it at my kitchen table, I was linking hopeful adoptive parents with private adoption attorneys and agencies. And the more I got the word out, the more I would write articles or letters to the editor or be featured in a magazine. The more I started hearing from attorneys all over the United States and adoptive couples from all over the United States. I never sought to start anything it started and kind of took me with it. Fast forward, several years later we adopted another child, Natalie, and the state of South Carolina came to me and said, “we’re hearing all kinds of things about you matching all these babies, we want to license you, to make you legitimate so that you can put out a shingle and do your thing.” And I said, “I don’t know that I want to become an agency, I just want to stay ministry focused” and they said, well, “no, you have to become an agency.”
I reluctantly became an agency and feel reluctant every year when I have to do my relicensing package for DSS. I am supremely compassionate and empathetic to what birth mothers are going through. This is not a business for me, this is something that I feel called to because of what I’ve been through.
Q: How long did you say you’ve been doing this career?
A: It started unofficially after Alex was born. I just started writing articles and speaking at adoption events and just letting people know that there are babies out there. So after we got Alex, people started coming to me and so within two years there were about 15 babies in my church that were adopted. Unofficially, 26 and a half years, but officially, we became a non-profit organization in 1997.
Q: How long have you lived in this area? Are you from here?
A: My dad is, he grew up in Greenville and my mother grew up in the lower part of the state. But my dad, when he graduated from Greenville High School, went off to the Naval Academy. I was a Navy brat. I moved all over all my life. When dad retired in Pensacola, Florida, that is where they train Navy and Marine Corps Aviators, just out of college, we were transferred there when I was just about to turn 18th. When I was 21, that’s where I met my husband. He was a Marine Corps Aviator in flight school, and he’s from Detroit, Michigan. My grandmother kept telling him, what a great place Greenville was and how it was thriving and that he wouldn’t have any problem finding a job here with all of the companies coming here. We knew that Detroit probably wasn’t a good place because it had been auto industry focused and all the industry had left Detroit. We sold him on South Carolina and so he has become a transplanted southerner. We have lived here since he got out of the Marine Corps and our oldest was one and a half at that time.
Q: If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
A: Being a Navy brat, I’ve moved and traveled all over the world and I would probably choose someplace tropical in the United States because I loved the beach. When I was a child, my dad was in Pearl Harbor so I might choose to go back to visit the other Hawaiian islands.
Q: What is one of your favorite movies? TV shows?
A: Show boat With Ava Gardner and Howard Keel. This movie gives me goosebumps. It makes me so sad because there’s a woman in the movie that is biracial or she was found that her mother had some black blood and she was kicked off of the showboat The show follows the hard things she went through and that movie used to always break my heart and make me cry.
Q: Who else would you like to see nominated as a Face of the Golden Strip?
A: I’m a big animal lover. I think of the lady that helped us, gave us the wisdom and the advice, and helped us rescue our pet. Her name is Carmen Clapper. She’s not from here, she’s German, but I love that her life, 24/7, is just completely devoted to animals. My dear friend that recommended her to me said, ‘I’m just gonna warn you., she’s not gonna give you the warm and fuzzies. She’s a tough cookie, but she has to be, she goes into really hard situations rescuing animals. She can seem abrasive, but you just have to keep remembering, her heart is all about saving animals.
Q: What do you like to do in your spare time?
A: I enjoy spending time with my grandbabies. They live in Richmond, Virginia, and some in Houston, Texas. We love to go to the beach. I love the ocean, the beach is a therapy for me. I grew up spending my summer in Edisto, SC because my grandparents used to own one of the oldest houses on the island.
Q: What three words or phrases come to mind when you think of the word “home”?
A: South Carolina, Family, Comfort.
Q: Do you have any cute pet stories to share or has your pet’s done anything funny that comes to mind?
A: Ruby, my most recent rescue as so funny. We had a guy that came highly recommended to train her. He was in the Marine Corps just like my husband and he taught my dog Ruby how to do the army crawl and she did it the first time! Oddly enough, she won’t do it for anybody but him and she won’t do it for me, ever!
Q: How many pets do you have? Are they all rescues?
A: I have four dogs and three cats, but three of my animals are like 17 years old. All are rescues but the beagle. I got a beagle because my son had a beagle and it was so adorable that I wanted a dog that would stay small and that would stay in my lap. I discovered just because they’re small doesn’t mean they want to be in your lap because my beagle is not interested in being held, but my 62 pounds bulldog wants to be a lap dog all of the time.
Q: What advice would you give to a crowd of people?
A: Know that whatever they’re going through, it’s going to get better. I love to tell people that when I was in the darkest pit after my son died and thought my life was over and that it would hurt that bad for forever and that the loss would be that profound forever, but it not the case. I read something that said He will turn your mourning into dancing and your ashes into gold. I knew that in my head, but I couldn’t really believe it, but He has. No matter what dark path people are going through, if they trust God through it, he will not only bring them through it, but He will put them on the mountaintop again and use that horrible thing for good.
Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years?
A: Even though I’m over 60, I still wanna be doing this in 5 to 10 years. Longevity runs in my family, my grandmother lived to 101 and she owned a flower business up until she was almost 90. I’m gonna do it as long as I can until my business partner says, it’s time to take a break.
Q: What is something on your bucket list?
A: I’m just really so blessed that to me, it’s just a true gift when I have my whole family together, my kids, and all my grandkids in the same building…that’s all I need.
Q: What’s your favorite style of music or any songs or bands that you enjoy listening to?
A: The style of music I like is very eclectic because I like Christian music, but I also love R and B. You would hear me listening to Kool & The Gang, just as much as you would hear me listening to Mercy Me or Luther Vandross or Medley. I like just about everything and I play classical music for my dogs when I’m gone so they’ll be calm while home alone.
Q: What is your favorite restaurant in Golden Strip area?
A: It’s hard to limit to just one but right now, the favorite is Caesar’s Mediterranean Grill. There’s a guy there who is from Jordan And he is an interesting person to talk to. He’s such a good guy and he makes everything well… He can cook hamburgers and the next time make lasagna, and it’s all good. I have not had anything there yet that was not amazing, everything is good.
Q: Even to friends or family, what is something interesting that most people don’t know about you?
A: Generally, people are shocked to learn that I love reality TV. I’m really into ‘The Bachelor” and I really get into it.
